Unexpecting
by hbkcenaortonaddict
Summary: *UPDATE 4/1/2010 - HIATUS FOR THE TIME BEING* Jeff Hardy hit a streak of bad luck, but it's when he meets an unexpecting woman in the most unexpecting place that his streak turns around.
1. Another Hardy Party

Jeff looked over the vast amount of land in his brother's back yard. As he sipped the bitter liquid in his red plastic cup, he let the contents hit the back of his throat before it went down smoothly. He wiped the mist from his mouth and shook his head. A pool would be ideal in the yard. Seeing as the Carolina summers were always hot, it would almost be a necessity.

He enjoyed the quite time. It was his chance to think by himself and not meet everyone's expectation to be the life of the party or be wild and crazy. In reality, he liked the softer, more thoughtful side of himself, but everyone got such a kick out of his alter ego and his antics, that he couldn't refuse.

He could hear the music blaring loudly from inside, as the voices carried over the music and shouts and chants could be heard now. No doubt another shoot fight had ensued and this time, apparently inside Matt's house. He laughed to himself before turning around, almost bumping into his girlfriend, Beth.

"Hey. I've been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing out here?" she asked, touching his shoulder gently.

"Aw, I just wanted to be alone for a minute, that's all." he said, before slamming the rest of the liquid down his throat.

He and Beth had been high school sweethearts, ever since she moved to the small town of Cameron, North Carolina from California when they were in the 10th grade. They had been together ever since; almost 14 years before. It was sort of a safety blanket for him to be with the same person for so long. The truth was, he was afraid of change. A fact that not too many people knew about, only his closest of friends. He cared for Beth and loved her, but at times, the relationship was a little rocky. They had managed to get through the rocky periods but he never could muster up the courage, for some reason to pop the question to her.

It was just as well for her. She never pressured him about it. Sure there friends and family did. They had been together for so long, it might as well seem that way and it never really changed the fact. Jeff didn't need a piece of paper from the state of North Carolina saying he was faithful to her. He had been the entire time. He didn't need anyone telling him the way he felt.

"Sounds like another shoot fight." he said pointing to the house.

"You know how your brother's party's get. I think it's Shannon and Thomas again. You wanna go back inside?" she asked softly.

"In a minute. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you shortly." he replied, smiling at her before placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

She returned the small smile and turned, heading into the house. He watched her walk away before he took a deep breath in of the North Carolina air. Complacency had set into his life at this point and he wasn't even at a comfortable place anymore. It was just existence. A strange and odd feeling, but a feeling that had been his life for some time now. There seemed to be no changing now, he thought.

He fumbled with the bottle in his pocket before pulling it out and looking at it. The little green wonder inside was the only thing that brought him out of reality for a minute just so he could exist outside of the real world for a minute. He loved the feeling of not caring about anything for a few hours, but just to be. Be something he wasn't even sure of.

He popped the top from the bottle and emptied 3 into his palm, before placing the top back on the bottle and placing it into his pocket. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, but he didn't care anymore. He wanted the fears and anxieties to go away for a short period of time so he could enjoy himself once more.

He didn't worry about the dream job he had, the decent girlfriend he had forever, the wonderful family he had came to love, respect and admire. He didn't care about anything at that point in time as he slammed the pills into his mouth and swallowed them without thinking anymore.

He looked at the house once more as he exhaled a deep breath and headed inside for yet another Hardy Party.


	2. Suspension

He sighed again, as he fixed his jeans and laid his head back against the head rest. It had felt like an endless trip to the next city, which had really only been 3 hours. It didn't matter to him; sometimes life on the road really got to him. It didn't challenge his mind like it needed to. It was too bland and not thrilling in the least. But still, here he sat in a rental car with his brother at the wheel riding to somewhere in Virginia.

"Well be there in about 5 minutes, bro. Just sit tight." Matt replied from the driver's seat. He chuckled as he watched his brother fidget in his seat.

He could see the large coliseum up the road, but the amount of traffic that day keep what would be a 30 second drive to a 5 minute wait in traffic before they would move an inch and the light would turn red once more. 20 more minutes, he thought to himself.

"This is crazy!" Jeff said, pounding his fist against the dash. "Matt, the damn building is right there!"

"Jeff, I know, but there is nothing I can do about it. Do you see any way for me to move this car?" Matt asked.

"I know, but they should make the street bigger or something. Jesus!"

"Jeff, take a chill pill or something, please. You're not helping any!"

The fact was, that's what he had planned on doing as soon as he got to the arena; pop another few pills to get him through the evening before heading back to the lonely hotel room for the night. That's all he needed. He was sure that was the cause of his anger issues these days. He just didn't care to get off the substance at this point. It had gotten worse over the past few months, but he was grateful one of his random urine test hadn't came up from the WWE.

"Finally! There are we happy now?" Matt asked, as the car moved through the intersection and towards the building.

Jeff unbuckled his beat, not being able to be contained anymore. He sat up eagerly, waiting for Matt to stop the car and cut the engine so they could get their belongings from the back and get inside.

"Thank God. I have to piss!" Jeff said, as he hopped from the car and headed towards the trunk to retrieve his goods.

"Well, it's a good thing little brother. It looks like the lab truck sitting right there. Wonder whose name are on the list this time?" Matt asked, as he opened the trunk.

Jeff looked at the white truck sitting beside the back entrance of the building. He felt his pulse quicken slightly as the sweat formed on his brow. He knew if his name was on the list, there was no way he would piss clean for them. Not today. He grabbed his back and hopped that as they made there way towards the door, the man didn't hand him his papers to be tested.

Sure enough, as they got to the door, the technician stopped both brothers and handed them papers with a smile on his face. Jeff winced slightly before sneering at the man. He wished he could wipe the smile off his face. Permanently for that matter.

"Well, let's go take that piss Jeff!" Matt said, laughing, as he threw his arm around his shoulder and lead the way into the building.

Jeff groaned as he saw the set up in the back for the testing. He saw a few other wrestlers in line waiting their turn. He groaned louder when he realized he would have to yet again do his favorite thing in the world. Wait.

"At least this line is moving faster than traffic was." Matt said, laughing again.

Jeff smiled, as he moved closer to the white curtain. He dreaded this moment, but he knew once he got this over with and the stick turned that sickening color red, he would be handed his 60-day suspension papers and he would be back out the door. He was sure the boss wasn't too far from here. He never was when testing was taken place. In fact, Vince McMahon usually got tested himself. Jeff always thought it was to set an example for the rest of the company but he was sure it was to rub it into the faces of those who failed. He could almost hear the sinister voice of his boss as he thought about it.

A lump formed in his throat and he almost turned around before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and realized he would be next. He tried swallowing the lump that was growing bigger and bigger, but to no avail. He had to get this done and over with. Besides, a vacation wasn't exactly that bad a thing. No pay was, but a vacation might be just what he needed.

"Go ahead, sir." the man ushered, as he nodded his head.

He made his way through the curtain and smiled weakly when he say Vince standing on the other side. Vince smiled back and handed him a cup and pointed towards another set of curtains. He dropped his head and walked through them knowing in a matter of minutes he would back on the road heading home.

"You can set your belongings right there Mr. Hardy. This will only take a minute." the doctor stated, as he placed rubber gloves on.

Jeff dropped his pants and did his business silently before handing the cup to the doctor. He gathered himself as he watched the medical stick being placed inside the cup. He closed his eyes as the doctor yelled for Vince.

He knew what was going to happen next. He had been through it before. He knew this procedure all too well, it seemed. A handful of others knew the same feeling, but it didn't take the feeling of embarrassment away.

"Jeff, you want to tell me why this stick here is red?" Vince asked him.

"Well, I'm sure you already know the answer to that sir, so no, I wouldn't." Jeff replied, as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Alright than son. Follow me and we'll get the papers started and send you on your way. You know it's for 60 days this time, right?" Vince asked, as he exited the tent and made his way to a table set up just a few feet away.

"Yeah, I understand." Jeff managed to say, as he watched the papers being signed.

"I need your signature right here then." Vince said, as he gave a look of disappoint to the younger man.

Jeff did as he was told before handing the pen and papers back. He waited for his copy as he looked around, praying that no one, especially, Matt didn't see what was going on. He was sure everyone would know what was taking place.

"Your suspension starts today. We'll call you when we have the schedule worked out for you to come back. I wish things were different, Jeff, but, frankly, they aren't." Vince said, frowning.

"Thank you sir." Jeff said, collecting the papers and turning around.

"Jeff..." Vince called after him. Jeff turned and stared at the older gentleman. "Please don't let this happen again. I don't want to fire you but my hands are tied if it comes back negative again."

Jeff merely shook his head before making his way towards the exit. He knew the next time he would be fired. There was nothing no one could do about that. Well, there was one person, but at this point, there was no telling what would happen. That person could change everything, but it might not be the right time. It might be to soon, but too late for him to save his job.

That person was Jeff Hardy.


	3. Facing the Truth

The ride home had been a quiet one, filled with endless thoughts and anger from the younger Hardy brother. He had thought of ever end and out of the decisions he had made leading up to this point, which lead him to the anger he was now feeling. And as he inched closer and closer towards home, his nerves were quickly getting the best of him. He would have to face the truth the minute he walked through his front door and saw the face of his girlfriend.

He could almost see her face now, with the look of confusion written all over it. He played in his mind how he would tell her about the truth of the matter of him being home so early in the week. He could clearly see the look of shock and then anger she would display. She had been through this with him so many times before, but never did leave. Something he himself couldn't figure out. He had put her through a lot, just dealing with the addiction.

As he flew down the familiar dirt road, signaling he was about 5 minutes from his home, his hands began to sweat and his mind raced even faster. He wasn't too worried about his girlfriend, but the look of disappointment on his dad's face was something entirely different. His old man had been through thick and thin with him, from the death of his mother, which he was barely able to remember, his and Matt's wild dream of becoming wrestlers, to achieving his wishes and making it to the big game, and through the addiction itself. His dad was a strong man, but he was getting up there in his years and honestly, he wasn't sure how much more he could take. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he pulled into the long driveway, leading towards his house.

He wasn't sure if the sweat and anxiety was from him be completely nervous about telling everyone the harsh truth or the lack of pills he had taken that day. At any rate, he wanted to get home and take care of both orders of business; tell his girlfriend and father and then take the comfort he had been yearning all day.

As soon as he pulled into the parking space, he door flew open in a sudden and he looked up, meeting the angered eyes of Beth. She knew. The look on her face said that alone. At least he wouldn't have to break the news to her himself. He just wondered how she had found out.

Matt.

"Let me guess. Matt called you?" Jeff asked, grabbing his luggage from the backseat and slamming the car door shut.

"What were you thinking, Jeff? I thought we were done with this shit once and for all months ago." she asked, stepping in front of him.

"Yeah, well I guess _we _thought wrong, didn't we?" he said, arching his brow before pushing past her.

"Jeff I don't get it. How long have you been taking them this time?" she asked, running up and grabbing his wrist, forcing him to swing himself around.

"I don't know, Beth. It's not like I marked it on my calendar."

"Jeff don't be a smart ass. It's like you don't even care. You got suspended for 60 days! Without pay!" she said, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"Ah! That's right. You would be concerned about the money aspect of it, wouldn't you?" he said, giving a sinister laugh. "You would be. Don't worry, dear. There's enough in the bank for your lavish expenses."

Before she could retaliate with a reply, he marched into the house and dropped his bag at the door. He wanted to get to the bathroom as soon as he could to end the anger and frustration he was now feeling. She should have been supportive of him; telling him they could get through this together and that she would be here for him. But instead, he was met with the hostility and scorn of a woman.

He slammed the bathroom door, locked the door and threw open the medicine cabinet, searching for his secret stash. He had kept it there for emergency fixes, and this seemed to fit the bill. He grabbed the Tylenol bottle and popped the lid off and smiled when the tiny white pills hit his palm. They were there; right where he had left them. Luckily she hadn't found them before he had gotten home or else there would really be a problem today.

He slammed them down his throat as he turned the spigot on, cupped his hands and drank the clear liquid, washing the tiny tablets down his throat. He knew in a short amount of time, nothing would matter anymore. Just the way he wanted it.

He didn't want to deal with anything anymore. He just wanted to simply, be.


	4. Tragedy

It had been two weeks since his suspension had started and things had somewhat returned to normal around his house. He had managed to tell his dad of his suspension and he had taken just how he had thought he would; hard.

He had quickly fallen into a routine each day based around his pills. Each morning it was a given he would need them; usually 3 of whatever he was taking, sometimes more. Anytime an uneasy, unsettling feeling would rise within him, he would pop more.

If everyone could understand his reasoning for the pills, things would be a lot better, he had thought many times. He needed them to feel like a normal person again. He wanted to feel normal, to be able to exist like the billion of other people roaming the Earth. No one seemed to understand that, and he was tired of explaining it.

He had decided to schedule an appointment to have his tattoo filled in even further. It was an ongoing process for the piece of art on the back of his neck, but he was becoming more and more anxious with each tattoo session he had for the out coming product. It was something he took pride in.

He had noticed his phone vibrating in his back pocket a few times, but he silenced the ringer without even looking at the caller. They'll call back, he thought a few times. They'll leave a voice mail, or a text message.

He hadn't taken any pills for a good 6 hours before coming into the shop. This was a form of therapy for him and it helped ease the uncalming feelings that raged throughout him on a day to day basis. It was kind of a twisted scenario seeing as the needle did inflict some sort of pain at the site of the tattoo, but the adrenaline rush he received from the tattoo was just as good as the pills.

It was when he felt his phone ringing again that he felt the needed to at least see who was calling him non-stop. It had to be pretty important for his phone to ring as much as it had the past 20 minutes. He waved for Shane, the tattoo artist to stop for a moment as he leaned forward and started at the screen on his phone.

Matt.

His heart began to race a little and a thin layer of sweat formed on his brow. He knew his brother wouldn't ring him continually unless it was an emergency. He was completely prepared for any bad news, but he calmed himself as best he could before flipping the front open and answering the phone.

"Hello?" he said, trying to control his voice.

"Jeff where are you, man?" Matt asked in a panicked voice.

"I'm at Shannon's shop getting my tattoo-" Jeff started before he was cut off.

"You need to get home ASAP, dude. It's your house." he said almost in a whisper. "It's on fire."

It took him a few minutes to register the information he was just given. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath inward. That's when he saw it. The eyes of his companion and best friend, Jack. Terror and fear rushed through his body as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Matt, please, get Jack. You have to get him out!" Jeff pleaded. "Please!"

"Is everything alright?" Beth asked with a confused look, as she closed the magazine she was reading.

He grabbed her wrist and headed for the door, without giving her so much as an answer to her question. She knew something was wrong. It was kind of hard not to notice with the way Jeff was acting.

"Tell Shannon I'll be back to pay him. Family emergency!" Jeff called behind him.

"Alright, what is going on?" Beth asked when they had made their way outside.

"It's the house. Matt said it's on fire. I didn't ask how bad, we just need to get there fast." Jeff said, as they slid into the car and Jeff started the car and gunned the engine towards the intersection making the short 20 minute drive to his house.

They road in silence, both trying to take in the past 10 minutes. Everything had happened so quickly that Jeff's head was spinning but he forced himself to stay focused long enough to get home before worrying and getting home.

As he turned onto the familiar dirt road, he saw the smoke above the trees int he distance. The sight made him sick to his stomach. He knew this wasn't good and now he wondered just how bad his home was ablaze.

He closed his eyes once more and just like before, he saw the same dark, saddened eyes of his dog, Jack. He looked as if he were crying out for help and it shook Jeff to his core seeing Jack sad eyes staring back at him. He opened his eyes and shook his head, trying to get the burned image from his mind.

He slid the car into the long, winding driveway preparing himself for the worst. He saw the row of firetrucks parking in front of his house. The next image that came into view shocked both he and Beth. The fire had engulfed his entire house and was popping through the doors, windows and even out from under the double wide.

He flung his car door open without cutting the engine and raced over to where Matt and his dad was standing. The heat hit his face almost immediately, causing sweat to form on his brow once again. He smelled the burning plastic and wood as he watched the mist fly from the house in an effort to kill the blaze.

"Matt, where's Jack?" Jeff asked as he tried catching his breath.

"They won't let anyone in. The fire is everywhere and they won't let anyone enter until the control it, at least." Matt said, with a defeated look.

Jeff looked past Matt as his eyes fixed on his home that was burning before him. He watched as the fire seemed to taunt him, flying in and out of the window of the far end of the home, which was once his bedroom window. He prayed that Jack was okay but in the bottom of his heart, he knew the truth. He felt the warm mist forming at the corner of his lids and he closed his eyes in an effort to stop the tears from falling, but to no avail. He wiped his cheeks with anger as Beth grabbed his waist and clung to his white tank top.

"It's going to be alright son." his dad said, squeezing his shoulder.

Jeff didn't say anything, but watched the fire that was destroy not only his home, but the many memories he shared with his family and friends within those walls. The pictures he could never get back. His clothing, his personal belongings from his mother that he could never get back. All those things lost angered and saddened him but what pushed him over the line was his pills. He had a few on him and a bottle in the glove compartment of his Camero but he had his remainder of his stash inside.

That angered him.

Beth gasped as the sound of glass shattering interrupting him from his thoughts. He sighed as the fire trickled through the broken window and danced around, almost laughing in his face. He sighed, as he felt his phone begin to vibrate once more. He looked at the screen and mumbled to himself when he saw the caller to be none other than Vince McMahon himself. He flung the phone open with a huff and forced a friendly tone considering the circumstances.

"Hello, Mr. McMahon." he said through clinched teeth.

"Jeff, I hope I'm not interrupting you." Mr. McMahon said.

Jeff held back a sarcastic comment as he stared forward at the still alive fire that was tearing through the last of his home.

"No, no. What can I do for you?" Jeff asked, hoping that maybe it was good news he would be calling about. Maybe his suspension had been lifted early.

"Well, it's about your current violation against the Wellness Policy. Seeing as this is your second offense, there is another condition other than 60 days without pay and your fine." Vince started.

Jeff sighed as Matt, Beth and his father looked at Jeff wondering what the nature of the call would be about. Especially seeing as the time was clearly awful. Granted, Mr. McMahon had no clue what was going on in Cameron, North Carolina that evening, but they were all taken aback Jeff hadn't mentioned it.

"And that would be what, sir?" Jeff asked, waiting on baited breath for the conclusion of his agreement.

"Well, the policy states you have to complete a 60-day program at a rehab facility we have set up for you. That is, if you would want to return to the WWE. If not, well then we could part ways as soon as possible."


	5. Solitude

Jeff paced back and forth in the still, quiet bedroom. His mind continued to roll from the fire just a day before, his phone call from Vince McMahon and how everything seemed to be taking a downward spiral in his life. All of which resulted in his moving in with his brother for the time being. He continued to pace, as he felt the sweat form on his brow and trickle down the side of his cheek. He had been at this game for nearly 2 hours now, and it still wasn't easing his tension in the least.

His eyes fell to the nightstand just a few feet from where he now stood. He was trying to hold off on taking anymore pills, but he knew the time had came for him to take a few more just to ease his mind and his racing thoughts. He opened the drawer and retrieved the bottle as he popped the top and emptied the contents into his hand. He didn't count how many was in his hand before slamming them down his throat and swallowing.

He looked at the nearby clock on the dresser and sighed knowing his meeting for his first therapy session would be in just under a half hour. He knew he couldn't be late for them, so he flung the door open and was meet with a pair of hazel eyes glowing back at him. It startled him at first, as he jumped back and drew a deep breath inward before realizing it was Beth standing on the other side. He managed a weak smile as she continued to gaze at him, her eyes glowing with anger.

"Jeff, we've gotta talk." she stated simply.

He knew it didn't sound good, by the tone of her voice. He couldn't really deal with any other distractions right now, in fear that he would be late for his meeting. He forced another smile and gazed at her.

"We can talk when I get back from my meeting. I'm gonna be late." he said, pushing past her.

It was when he had started down the steps that she finally spoke and it shook him to his very core. He had to replay the words a few times, before it sunk in and the reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I won't be here when you get back." she stated, not turning around to face him.

He started back up the staircase and fell by her side, as he attempted on grabbing her hand. She jerked away and finally faced him, the tears evident in her eyes.

"Beth..." he started before she raised her finger in his face and shook her head.

"You know, we were getting along just fine and then I find out you are suspended for a second time because of those damned pills. This whole time we were getting along, Jeff. I've begun to wonder if it was just the pills that helped us get by. I don't wanna stay knowing my boyfriend is on pills and that's the reason we get along. That that's the reason we survive as a couple. I've had enough Jeff." she stated, her voice rising slightly.

"I'm not gonna stop you." Jeff said, as he examined his watch before looking up at her.

"I figured you wouldn't." she said before making her way into the bedroom to gather her things.

Jeff stared at the ceiling and closed his eyes as the angered boiled inside of him. He couldn't believe after the night he had and his world going to shit, she would leave him now.

"So, it's like that, huh?" he said, making his way into the bedroom. "You're going to leave me because the going got tough? It isn't my fault the fire started, Beth!"

"Jeff, I never once blamed you, but I do blame you for this drug addiction and I refuse to sit around and let you bring me down with you."

"So you're leaving me at a time like this? A time that I might actually need you most!"

"You don't need me Jeff." she screamed opening the side drawer and throwing the pill bottle onto the bed. "You need what was in that bottle. Something I can't give you." she finished as she collected the few things things she had in the room.

"That's just fine, Beth. That's just great! I don't need you anyway!" he said, slamming the door and making his way down the steps.

He was more pissed off then he had ever been before. The nerve of her to throw everything away like it was his fault. He was going through the damn rehab to save his job. Why couldn't she see that?

He looked up at the bedroom window as he opened his car door. He saw her standing there, watching him from the second story of Matt's home. Just the sight of her left a bad taste in his mouth so he did the only thing that came to mind at the moment. He flipped her off before slamming his car door and firing the engine and heading down the driveway.

He knew in the bottom of his heart that things never would have worked out from he and Beth. She was something that filled a void in him, however. A void of emptiness that he never had felt until now. He knew he could get over her. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in his mind about that. He knew his dad and Matt would never leave him no matter what horrible shit or mess he got his life into. They would always love him and if he was meant to be lonely for the rest of his life, then so be it.

But for the first time in years, Jeff Hardy was left in solitude.


	6. Challenging

He slammed the car door and sighed as he looked up at the huge brick building that stood before him, the entrance begging him to enter, but his entire being holding him back. He placed his free arm across his chest and leaned against his car as he took a longing drag from his cigarette.

He had arrived at the rehab facility in record time; nearly 15 minutes left to spare. He was rather surprised he hadn't gotten pulled over by the police, but relieved at the same time. He wasn't even sure what he would have told them, but he was sure his attitude would have gotten him a night in the county jail – something that didn't sound fun to him in the least bit.

He pushed his weight from the car, as he took the last drag from his cigarette and flicked it into the nearly empty parking lot. The pills had started taking effect, giving him the strength he needed to now enter his fate.

He shuffled his feet as he walked towards the door, wanting to get the next hour over with as fast as possible and thinking to himself how he was one who didn't need the 'help' that would be offered to him. He decided to take the next 30-days as they came, get it over with and proceed with his life.

He stood in the doorway, as his eyes feel over the group before him. A small group of about 20 people sat in metal folding chairs, conversing and laughing, without a care in the world. A rolled his eyes as he made his way to a chair and pushed it back from the group before taking a seat.

Almost as if on cue, a slender, brown-haired woman stood and smiled, as she cleared her throat, demanding attention from the others in attendance. Jeff sat back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes gazing on the attractive female.

"My name is Janine and I have been sober from abusing prescription medication for 1,806 days now." she stated proudly, as the others clapped around her.

She sat back in her seat as an older man stood and addressed the small crowd. It was exactly as Jeff thought it would be. People standing, stating their accomplishments just as you would at an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting. He couldn't understand how this would help or cure him from his addiction. He couldn't even figure out why Vince would set him up at a place such as this if it were to help him kick his habit.

"Sir, would you care to share with the rest of the group?" came a voice from Jeff's left.

He stared at the younger female who was seated next to him, as he gave a sheepish smile and cleared his throat.

"Name's Jeff. I was sent here because I failed a random drug test at my place of employment. Seems it's my last strike." he said, laughing lightly. He looked around, seeing no one else had shared in his joke. He wiped his palms on his jeans as he sighed deeply.

"Anyway, I'm here for 30-days to apparently get help from some addiction that I have." he finished, rolling his eyes.

"We're glad you've joined us, Jeff." Janine said, smiling warmly in his direction. "What is your addiction?"

Her question took him by surprise as he stared at her for a moment before scratching his forehead. He knew he didn't have a problem. The pills he took were to help him get by. He needed them to survive in every day life. That's what he had tried explaining to everyone, but no one seemed to listen.

"That's just it. I don't have an addiction." he began, sitting forward. "The prescriptions I take are for survival purposes. Like someone on blood pressure or heart medicine."

"Uh huh. How about me and you talk after the meeting?" she asked, arching her brow.

"Are you like the instructor or something?" Jeff asked, becoming irritated.

"Something like that." she laughed. "I'm the counselor."

"How are you qualified if you were once an addict?" he asked, becoming offensive for no apparent reason.

The group grew quiet as they all looked between Janine and Jeff. The tension in the room was more than enough to bare. He arched his own brow, challenging her in a sense. She placed her hands on her hips and stood her ground as she focused in on Jeff's

"I'll see you afterwards." she said sternly before smiling and passing out packets to the group.

Jeff sat back and folded his arms across his chest with anger. His leg began twitching back and forth as he blocked out the rest of the meeting, instead caught up in his own thoughts. His mind raced with anger and fury every time he would glare at Janine.

_The nerve of her to talk to me like that! How is she any better than me?_

It rattled him to no end that she would speak to him like a child in second grade. To reprimand him in such a way in front of everyone else, like he was some asshole or something. And to make matters even worse, the slight confrontation between the two had only formed a pounding headache, instead of the comforting buzz that was once there. He was so rapped around his own thoughts, he didn't see her sit beside him or saying his name.

"Jeff!" she urged again, shaking his leg slightly.

He stared at her and his stomach instantly turned from the mere sight of her smiling features. Almost the same sickening feeling he had gotten from Beth when he had left his brother's house almost 2 hours before. He rolled his eyes before sitting up some and glaring at her over the bill of his hat.

"So, what's so important that you had to drag me from the rest of day?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well, I just didn't find it appropriate that you would address me in front of the class in the manner you did, as if I am unqualified for the position I hold in the meetings." she said, deciding to choose her words carefully.

"Well, do be completely honest, I don't see how a former addict is qualified as a mentor and a leader for these people who come to hear you talk about recovery." he stated, challenging her once more.

"Well, I'll have you know, I find myself more qualified than a non-addict coming here and speaking to these people who need help. I know where they have been. You've been. I know what you all are going through, regardless what the addiction is. And to be completely honest with you, I can relate and help you more than anyone else in here. I fought the same battle you are fighting now." she replied, becoming somewhat angry herself.

"Look, lady. Don't come in here thinking you know me and can 'cure' me in some magical way. I didn't come here willingly. I came here to save my job, so let's get these 30 days over with and you and I will never have to see or speak to each other again. Alright?" he said, sitting up placing his elbows on his knees, coming dangerously close to the female.

"And don't try to challenge me, Jeff Hardy! I know exactly who you are! I read the packet your boss sent my, including your profile and the prior Wellness Policy violations that you have against you. I know about there being more than two instances of you pissing dirty! You're sorry ass must be special to them to save it because you should have been gone by now! "

She stood and glared down at him with every ounce of hatred she could muster. Jeff dropped his jaw slightly, looking at her with amazement, wondering how she knew all that she did. He hadn't realize his entire file would be sent down to the treatment facility, or to this woman who clearly didn't like him, much less care about his problems or a possibility of helping him.

"So, don't come in here trying to wave your star power around because it won't work! And in closing, I just want you to know that you need me much more than I need you!" she finished, turning on her heel and storming from the room.

Jeff balled his fist up and slammed it against the cool, solid chair, making a loud crashing sound ripple through the now empty room. He grabbed his leather jacket from the back of his own chair and folded it across his arms before grabbing his keys and making his own exit.

There was more than one thing reeling through his boggled brain, making his headache even worse. To make it even worse, there was plenty of things he still had to do before the day was over. Between making arrangements for his new home being built, calling contractors, electricians and surveyors, he also had to go shopping for a new wardrobe and personal items.

But, the most important thing he added to his already lengthy schedule, was making a call to WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut to talk to his boss, Vince McMahon.


	7. BreakThrough?

She placed the keys into the ignition as she grabbed the spare pack of cigarettes from her glove compartment. They were there in the rare situation that she would need them, just to calm her nerves or if the craving hit. She hadn't smoked one for almost four years now, but after her interaction with the bitter wrestler just moments before, the urge called to her more than ever.

She ripped the foil from the pack and and grabbed the cigarette between her fingers, letting it roll between them for a moment. No one had ever angered her the way he had since her addiction years earlier, and usually it was due to lack of medication. She was usually able to collect herself, stay calm and rational and speak about things easily, but for some reason, that just wasn't the case with Jeff Hardy.

She had read his chart, his profile and the background information that was sent to her. She knew her hands would be full seeing as she would be dealing with someone still addicted, no just someone trying to sober up. Jeff was no where near a sobriety level. And yet, she was ready and had prepared herself for the harsh words and arguments that were to come between the two, at least for the next 30 days. At least, she thought she had.

She placed the cigarette between her lips and let it hang there for a second before lighting it and inhaling it within her lungs. She knew she was capable of handling Jeff and his problems and even helping him face them, but was he ready?

The answer that she got from him, his reactions and his emotions was no.

He slammed the door behind him before throwing his keys onto the glass of the kitchen table. He began pacing the length of the kitchen, recalling everything that had happened that evening. He had been on the phone non-stop, calling contractors and his insurance company. After even more bad news about his future house, he hadn't even thought about the call he was going to place to his boss. It was something he had hopped would fix itself. But, he knew better.

He walked into the living room and saw Matt staring at his actions from the couch. He smirked at his older brother before flopping onto the over-sized chair and kicking his feet up onto the ottoman. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, still feeling Matt's eyes burning a hole through him.

"You're on them, aren't you?" Matt asked, shoveling the last bite of food into his mouth before placing the plate onto the coffee table.

"Oh God Matt, not you too?" Jeff said, no opening his eyes.

"Yeah, me too. Someone has to get through that thick head of yours. Jeff, you're letting everything blow right by you and when it's gone, it's gonna be no one's fault but your own. You know that, right?" Matt asked, sipping his sweet tea.

"Yes, Matt, I do. Do we have to do this tonight?" Jeff asked, finally looking up.

"If not tonight, when, Jeff? When you're six feet under next to Mom?" Matt yelled, throwing his now empty plate across the room.

Jeff heard the crash and looked at the broken contents on the floor. He heard his brothers loud sigh and knew he had disappointed Matt once more. He looked over at him and saw the tears lining his older brothers eyes – a sight that about killed Jeff. He had only seen Matt cry on a handful of occasions, and usually it dealt with a broken-heart, their father or a major career success, a goal in life, that he or they had obtained.

It had never failed, either. He somehow had always managed to upset his brother in some form or another. His father, too.

Matt was always the organized, more goal-oriented son. The one who had his life planned out from the time they were teenagers, building backyard wrestling organizations and keeping him in line. And when something came up that Matt hadn't planned, rather bad or good, he always took it in stride and knew just how to deal with it. Matt was the perfect son, in Jeff's eyes, and in some ways, Jeff was deeply jealous and sometimes hurt by his brother. Rather intentional or not, the jealousy was there and would rear it's ugly head on occasions, but mostly, Jeff knew how to hide it deep inside.

Jeff, on the other hand, was one to fly by the seat of his pants, be more adventurous and try new things, good or bad, and while normally a restrained, shy person, was still very well liked and the life of the party. He didn't have an organized plan in life. He just excepted things as they came and took things more to heart, but held them in at the same time. He always tried to please his father, but somehow, Matt always seemed to overshadow him and was better than him, Jeff thought.

Matt shook his head and wiped the tears before storming into the kitchen and grabbing his keys from the hanger by the door. Jeff watched his movements as he walked to the laundry room and grabbed his coat. He knew he had hurt his brother. He hadn't meant to and it broke Jeff's heart. No matter how hard things got, no matter who was against Jeff or even if their father was mad, Matt was always there for him, picking up the pieces, a shoulder to cry on, a friend, whatever. Matt was always there. And now it seemed like it was losing the last support system, his strongest supporter, his brother.

"Where are you going?" Jeff asked softly, as he dropped his head, not wanting to look at the disappointment anymore.

"Out!" Matt replied loudly, before the door slammed behind him.

Jeff didn't look up for a while, knowing his brother was gone, but not wanting to feel the emptiness of the house, matched with the loneliness he already felt. He leaned back in the chair, debating on rather to take more pills or sit there in solitude and silence. For the first time Jeff could remember, he was left debating rather to take his comfort and give in or face it and make things better.

He was on the verge of a break through, and even if he didn't realize it or not, he was the only one who could change things and make them better.


	8. Nerves of Steel

It had been nearly two weeks since his suspension and his first meeting. He had been attending them regularly and in some ways, with each day that went by, he was learning new things from the group, as well as Janine. He was exactly excited about going to them, still thinking to himself and trying to explain to others that he didn't have a problem, but he went and usually didn't put up a fight.

He had talked to Janine about his behavior at his first meeting, and they seemed to get along as far as the meeting went, but every time he saw the brown-haired younger woman, she intrigued him in some way or another. She was fascinating to Jeff and she got under his skin more than any other person ever had. It drove it him crazy to no end, and partly, he had to admit she was more of a reason he was probably still going to the classes, aside from him still wanting to return to his dream job.

He had to call the office in Stamford, Connecticut weekly, to check in with his boss. Things were going well, despite his absence from the company, another bitter pill for him to swallow. He knew no matter how many pills he would pop on a daily basis, he could still go out and entertain a crowd just as well, if not better, than anyone else on the roster.

The pills; he was stilling taking them, but even he noticed he had cut back a good bit. They hadn't talked about recovery or giving them up in his meetings, which he thought was odd. He figured that is why he was even attending meetings, but instead, he was still taking them and Janine had asked about them since their first meeting.

He actually was to the point of where he resented taking them on a daily basis. But usually the urge was to great for him to resist and he would take just enough to get by, to where the cravings and urge wasn't as severe. He was beginning to think he wanted to give them up, but he didn't have the slightest clue as to how to go about it. He couldn't just flush them down the toilet or hid them into a drawer somewhere. He could give them to Matt, but he knew that would start an even bigger fight then what was already ensuing between the two brothers..

He and Matt hadn't talked much since their huge blow up over two weeks ago, and he knew he had upset his brother more than he ever had before. He wasn't about to kiss anyone ass; that just wasn't Jeff. He just figured things would have died down before now to where they would at least be back on the same page they were before. But, every time he saw his brother around the house or at their father's place, he still saw the disappointment and the hurt lying beneath his brothers huge brown eyes. A sight he couldn't bare to look at for too long, and usually resulted in him leaving the room and going for a long drive somewhere for a few hours to erase the memory.

He rolled onto his side and almost immediately his eyes caught sight of the brown pill bottle laying on the dresser just mere inches from his grasp. He sighed, trying hard to fight the urge and the temptation of taking anymore. He had somehow survived all morning and part of the afternoon without taking any. An accomplishment he was proud of, and frankly, he was tired of letting everyone and himself down.

He knew Matt wasn't home, which left him alone, in the big house all by himself. He wasn't sure how he could occupy his time and try to fight the urge any longer, but the important thing to him was, he was fighting and that was a start. At least to Jeff, it was a start.

He sat up on the bed, and wiped his clammy palms on his jeans before catching his head in his hands. He didn't know how much longer he could hold on. He was sweating and starting to get irritable and angry, feelings he didn't like one bit. He normally wasn't an angry or resentful person, but being without his medication, it had pushed him to a limit he hadn't noticed was there before. In his drugged induced states, he had never allowed himself to feel that way, unless the pills made him. And he couldn't remember the last time he had actually felt angry or resentful without the pills. A signal to him he had been on them too long and maybe it was time to part ways and start fresh.

He stood and began pacing the room, wondering if he should try calling his father. He wanted to talk to someone; anyone would do right now. He knew Matt was out taking care of some last minute things before he had to catch a red-eye that night to Dallas, Texas. He hated being alone, but he enjoyed the quiet at the same time.

He picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number before resting the ear piece between his shoulder and his ear. He continued to ring and ring into his ear, until he could take no more and hit the 'talk' button once more, realizing his father probably wasn't home.

He sighed and his eyes rested upon the end table beside the bed once more, this time his eye caught the red folder he had received from his last meeting. With shaky, uneasy hands he picked it up and opened the folder to the first page where a phone number and her name popped out at him, almost begging him to pick the phone up once more. He sighed and eyed the pill bottle once more before releasing a loud grunt in the empty room.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number, almost hoping she wouldn't pick up. He felt his nerves swim within, wondering what the hell he would say to her and not even sure if she would accept talking to him.

"Hello." came a husky, female voice from the other end.

"Um, can I talk to Janine please?" he asked, finally finding his voice.

"Je- Is this Jeff?" she asked, her voice filled with shock.

"Uh, yeah, it is. I'm sorry if I interrupted you or..." he started, before she cut him off.

"No, no. It's fine. Is everything alright?" she pondered.

"Well, yeah. It's just... I don't know. Can you meet me somewhere, like the Mexican restaurant in town?" he asked, almost shocked the question even came out of his mouth.

"Jeff, I don't think that's a good idea." she said lightly.

"Janine, please." he urged further, his voice falling almost below a whisper.

The line went silent for a second, as Jeff pressed his ear to the receiver even more wondering if she had hung up on him. The sweat was pouring from his forehead even more now and he used the back of shirt to wipe some of the perspiration away.

"Jeff, I don't know." she finally said, causing Jeff to take a sigh of relief that she was still on the other end.

"Janine, honestly it isn't like that. It's just I haven't taken anything today, I'm uneasy, I'm sweating like a pig..." he said, causing them both to share a laugh.

The line went silent again, as Jeff collected his thoughts before saying anything else. He almost hoped she would agree to their meeting so he wouldn't have to say much else, but somehow, he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"I don't know what to do, Janine. I tried calling my father, my brother isn't home. And you said if we needed you at any time to give you a call. I uh..." he said, before trailing off, not wanting to admit the thoughts that were racing through his head.

"What is it, Jeff?" she pressed, hearing the urgency in his voice.

"I need someone right now or I'm gonna down this bottle and honestly, for the first time in years, I don't want to." he admitted as he sat on the edge of the bed, his body feeling even more shaky and slightly dizzy.

"Give me 20 minutes, Jeff. I'll be there." she answered. "Oh, and Jeff?"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Bring the pills with you. Every last pill that you have in your possession." she said, hanging up.

He sat on the bed for a few minutes after she hung up, staring at the phone, wondering if he had heard her correctly. He shook his head and grabbed every last pill bottle he could remember hiding throughout the house and threw them into his leather pouch he had carried with him at all times. He slipped his shoes on before grabbing the keys and racing out the door.

He didn't want to even think about popping any while he was driving. The urges were taking over more and more with each passing second. He pushed the button on his key chain and watched as his trunk flew open. He hesitated briefly before tossing the bag into the trunk and slamming it shut.

He had to get help, and today was just as good a day as any.


	9. Acknowledgement

She paced back and forth, continually glancing at her watch every other second. She had arrived nearly 10 minutes before with a few minutes to spare, but after doing a quick check of the parking lot, he hadn't arrived yet. It wouldn't have worried her under normal circumstances, but after hearing his voice on the phone in such a broken and helpless manner, she was becoming more and more worried.

She knew upon taking the job that she would be on call, any time of the day. It had been a form of healing for herself, as well as made her face each day. She still had the urge and temptation to take the drugs; for any addict, that urge was always there, the temptation never ceased and the means of taking it was usually available at any time.

She leaned against her car and stared at her shoes, trying to fight the urge to look at her watch anymore. She wasn't exactly sure how she would face the situation with Jeff once he got there, anyone. She knew it all depended on his attitude and what state of mind he was when he arrived. With Jeff, whom she barely knew, from what she did know, she would have to take it with ease and stride. She recalled back to her classes she took when she was offered the job. She remembered the different stages of recovery and if this was Jeff's first day without having his medication, he was feeling the anger, the resentment, as well as the physical specifics he would be going through.

"Thanks for coming." a voice came beside her.

She jumped slightly and grabbed her chest, as she closed her eyes and tried catching her breath. She was well aware of how the voice belonged too, she just needed a minute to regulate her heart beat and her rapid breathing. She heard Jeff chuckles slightly and she opened her eyes to glare at him. He was leaned her car, his hand covering his mouth slightly to hide his laughter.

"I didn't mean to scare you." he said.

"It's alright. You look like hell." she said, doing a once over on his facial features.

His eyes were baggy, with black circle forming underneath, his hair was matted to his head on one side, the sweat glistened from his forehead and his eyes had a look in them she had never seen in the two weeks she had known him. It was a look she knew all too well, and for once, it seemed like Jeff was on the verge of a breakthrough and he may just be ready for help.

"I feel like it too. I just didn't know who to call and I didn't wanna be alone. I knew I would take them if I did and I didn't want to take them. For some reason, today I didn't want to take them." he answered plainly.

"I know the feeling Jeff. Look, why don't we go inside and eat and then we'll go from there, alright?" she eased gently.

"I could use some food. I haven't eaten all day." he said, looking up at her finally.

She smiled gently, staring into his emerald eyes and seeing an understanding that she had ever noticed before. A sense of calm, yet someone who was reaching out for help. Someone who just wanted a friend and who didn't want to be alone.

She didn't know much else about his day or what he had encountered, although she had an idea, but all she knew was right now, she wasn't about to leave him. She was going to be by his side, every step of the way.


	10. Support

"So, you've fought the urge all day? How does that make you feel?" she asked, pushing her plate away from her before taking her napkin and wiping the corners of her mouth.

"I don't know exactly. My feelings are all over the place. One minute I'm angry and frustrated and I just wanna grab that bottle and down 'em all. The next minute I don't wanna be alone, I'm scared and I just want help." he answered simply, taking a sip from his iced tea.

"Well, those feelings are all normal and for the next week or so you're going to feel a range of emotions that are going to confuse you and make you feel like your going absolutely insane. If this is what you want and you seriously want to get help, you can do it. I know you can. Is this what you want?" she asked?

"Yeah, I mean, I think so. I'm confused already. Like I said about my feelings being all over the place, one minute I wanna be sober and the next I just wanna take some pills and be me again." he said.

"Jeff, the first thing you have to know is that when you take those pills, that isn't you. Is who the pills perceive you to be; it's how they affect you that day that makes you who you are. It's almost like split-personalities. With pills, one day you're happy, the next angry, the next challenging." she smiled weakly, recalling their first encounter.

"I wanna do this. The one clear thought I had today was how I didn't want to upset myself anymore. I don't wanna let myself, my family, my co-workers, my boss.. I don't wanna let anyone else down." he answered. "I've got a question for you, though." he said, leaning back with somewhat of a sly smile on his face.

"What's that?" she asked, feeling somewhat uneasy.

"Why didn't you have me detox from the start? Why didn't you say or do anything when you knew I was still on drugs?" he asked.

"Well, I was hoping you would go through something like this without me having to intervene. I figured it would me access your situation a little better and I was hoping the meetings had some kind of impact on you." she answered truthfully.

"They did. More than anything, actually, I've learned coming away from those meetings." he answered, as the waiter brought their check to the table.

She reached for the bill, but Jeff grabbed her hand gently, causing them to stare at each other for a minute. She saw the same set of comforting, easy, understand eyes she was met with earlier, and smiled, feeling the warmth growing in her cheeks.

"No. Let me." he urged, grabbing the check and bringing some cash from his wallet. He threw a ten dollar bill on the table before standing and holding out his hand to Janine. She excepted the warm gesture, as they both stood and walked towards the register for Jeff to pay for their meal.

Once they got outside, she closed her eyes for a second, letting the warm summer breeze blow through her long, brown locks. She enjoyed the summer time, and today was a very eventful day for Jeff as well as herself. She felt like she had made a difference in someones life and it made her feel rather good.

"So, you had me bring the pills for a reason, right?" he asked, finally turning around to stare at Janine.

She smiled gently, not wanting to bring up the subject, but knew she had to address it sooner or later. She nodded her head before speaking, collecting her thoughts before she spoke.

"Yeah, I did. I'm gonna follow you home and I'll show you what we're gonna do with them." she said easily.

"Alright, but I have one favor to ask you." he said, squinting his eyes from the bright sun.

"Alright, what's that?" she asked.

"I don't think I can drive home with them in my car. I fought the entire way here, even though I did lock them in my trunk, but just knowing there there, I don't think I can do it again. Would you..."

"How about I ride with you, for legal purposes. If I get pulled over with your prescription bottles in my car..." she began.

"That's fine, I understand. That would be just as helpful." he answered, as he lead the way to where his car was parked.

He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Janine, allowing her to slip inside before shutting the door behind her and making his way to his side. He adverted the trunk by all means, instead taking an easier route in front of the car and slipped into the drivers side.

"You know Jeff, you had a breakthrough today and you've made major progress in one day. I don't know if it means anything to you, but I'm proud of you." she said, smiling at him.

"Thank you. It does mean a lot to mean." he said, squeezing her hand gently, as he turned onto the familiar, winding road.

"Is your family supportive of you? I mean, have you talked to your brother or your father at all about what you've faced today?" she asked.

"No, I haven't. I tried calling my dad and my brother wasn't home, so I suppose they don't know. I kind of wanna do this first and then sit down with them both and let them know. I know I've let them both down so many times in the past, especially here lately, and I just don't wanna do that anymore. There's something about seeing your older brother cry and knowing you had everything to do with it. Especially when he's like the closest person to my, beside our dad." he answered.

"That's sweet Jeff. So, you and your brother, you're close?" she asked.

"Very. He is completely different than me. We're polar opposites, but I like it that way. Honestly, I don't know if I could handle someone that's just like me." he answered, truthfully.

"Jeff, you're not a bad person. I see that from the 2 hours we've spent together today. You're sweet and funny, caring. You're just lost and you need help. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you need help, especially when it's there for you." she answered.

"I know, but it must go along with being a man; not admitting they we need help or whatever. I just can't do it anymore. And I do need help." he said, shaking his head.

They feel silent as he pulled into his brother's driveway and parked his car beside Matt's large SUV. Seeing his brother home bothered him a little, only because he still hadn't talked to him since there fight.

"My brothers home." he whispered to no one in particular, but worried about the reaction he might get by entering the house.

"Is that alright?" she asked, grabbing his shoulder before they got out of the car.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. I think I would like my brother there to witness whatever we're going to do with the pills. Maybe it'll help him heal a little bit." he said, smiling gently, before making his way towards the house.

"Jeff..." she called from behind him, as he turned slowly to face her.

"The pills." she said softly.

He shook his head and walked to the trunk. He pushed the button on his key chain as the trunk came to life and opened before them. He didn't give it much thought, not wanting to acknowledge they were there. He simply grabbed the bag, slammed the trunk and continued walking towards the house.

She followed close behind, wondering the type of reception that was to follow. She didn't have to wait long, as Jeff entered the back door as they entered a kitchenette area. She looked around the clean, blue and gray kitchen, before her eyes fell on the dark-haired man sitting at the table just before Jeff.

"Um, hey Matt." Jeff said, trying to sound as cheerful as he could. "I want you to meet someone. This is Janine. Janine, my brother, Matt."

"Is that your dealer?" Matt shot back, not looking up from his Golden Grahams.

Jeff sighed and turned around, looking her in the eyes, hoping she would understand. She waved it off and stepped forward, hoping to ease the tension somewhat.

"Actually, I'm your brother's counselor from his treatment and recovery meetings. It's nice to meet you." she said, smiling.

Matt looked up and shook his head, before standing up and extending his hand. He gave his brother a confused look before looking back at Janine with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I meant no disrespect." he said, shaking her hand.

"It's alright. I understand." she said, shaking her head and assuring him it was alright.

"So, Jeff, does that mean you're taking these meetings seriously?" Matt asked, sitting back down at the table.

"Actually...," he began.

"Actually, we're glad you're here. Jeff was saying how he wanted you to witness this exercise we're going to do." she said, shaking her head at Jeff, letting him know the floor was now his.

"Matt, I'm sorry. For the past two weeks, I wanted my brother back, but until today, I didn't realize that it was my problem and completely my fault. I don't want to upset you or dad anymore. I don't wanna upset myself or let myself down anymore. I've been through hell today, and now, I know what you guys have been going through these past few years." he said as he felt the tears filling his eyes.

"I just want my brother back, Jeff. I love you regardless. You know that, but I want my artistic, caring, sensitive brother back. I liked Jeff when he was crazy as hell, but high on nothing else but life. You used to be like that and I don't know if Beth drained it out of you or what it was, but dude, you can get it back. Dad and me, we'll support you. You know that." Matt said, standing up and embracing his younger brother.

Janine took the opportunity to excuse herself to the open living room, allowing the brothers to share a moment alone. Jeff allowed the tears to fall from his eyes, as he cried silently on his brother's shoulder. He knew this was it. He knew he was getting help and with the support of his brother, his father and his new friend, Janine, he was sure everything would be fine.


	11. A New Beginning

She watched the display from the living room, smiling warmly at the brothers. She was glad she had witnessed the rekindling of the brotherhood and she knew Jeff had came a long way in the short amount of time she had known him. Jeff wiped the stray tears from his eyes as she cleared her throat and entered the kitchen once more. Matt squeezed his brothers shoulder as she cleared her throat.

"I need a bathroom." she said, laughing nervously.

"Oh, it's right down the hall here, all the way back." Matt answered, pointing his finger at the far end of the kitchen.

"I need you two to follow me." she said, leading the way.

The brothers looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders before Jeff followed with Matt close behind him. She had grabbed the bag from the table that Jeff had retrieved from his trunk and opened it, displaying numerous bottle of pills.

Jeff dropped his head as Matt watched on and shook his head. He wasn't sure what his brother was thinking but he could feel Matt was hurt. His face said it all. For the first time since he began taking the pills, Jeff felt guilty.

"Alright, Jeff..." she began, pulling a bottle from the bag. "I want you to take this pills and as you dump them into the toilet, tell me one of your hobbies." she finished, handing him a pill bottle.

Jeff did was he was told as he popped the lid on the container and looked inside. He looked at Janine and then to his brother, who squeezed his shoulder once more and shook his head. Jeff looked closed his eyes as he dumped the contents into the bowl.

"I love to paint. I love art and music." he said, saying the first thing that came to his mind.

"Well, we'll have to put that to use as a form of therapy for you." she said, handing him another bottle. "Tell me one of your proudest moments."

He didn't give a passing second to think about his reply to the question as he popped the top of the bottle and dumped the pills into the water below.

"Winning the WWE Tag Team Championship with my brother for the first time." he said, turning to Matt and smiling fondly of the memory.

She looked at the two brothers smiling at each other before grabbing another bottle and handing it to Jeff.

"Proud moment for you two, I take it. Alright, give me one of your favorite childhood memories." she said.

"Easy. Wrestling around in the backyard with my brother every weekend on our trampoline." he answered, dumping the pills out.

He threw the bottle into the trash as she handed him another bottle. Matt shift his weight from one foot to the other and sighed.

"How many things were you taking, Jeff?" he asked, looking at his brother.

"On a good day or a bad day?" he asked seriously, with no sarcastic tone in his voice.

"Either." Matt replied back.

"At one point, I was on about 10 different med.... drugs. Here lately, it's been about 7 or 8." he replied, guilt-ridden.

"I had no idea." Matt said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, bro. I'm sorry." Jeff said, looking away from his brother.

"Jeff, is this the end? Is this really the end of it?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, Matt, I believe it is. I'm tired and wore out. I'm sick of taking something day in and day out just trying to cope with everything. I just wish...." Jeff said trailing off.

"You wish what?" Matt asked, looking at his brother.

"I wish I was more like you. You have everything so put together, so organized. You're like the perfect son and everything is so easy for you." Jeff said, looking at his brother.

"Jeff, don't say that, man. Dad loves us equally and you know that. He doesn't always tell us that, but you have to know how proud of you he is. How proud of you I am. Jeff, I'm envious of you. You have natural gifts like writing and music and me? I can't carry a tune to save my life. I might have the book smarts, but Jeff, damn man, you got the athletic and artistic side of mom." Matt answered.

"Mom." Jeff whispered, looking into the pill bag.

He had always thought about himself when he was taking the pills. He would only think about others if they had gotten mad at him and usually it didn't matter to him unless it was his brother or their dad. He had never once thought of his mother and after hearing her name, the tears filled his eyes again and spilled down his cheeks.

"She would be so disappointed in me." Jeff said, crying softly.

"That might be true, but Jeff, I know what she is now?" Matt said, hugging his brother.

"What?" Jeff asked.

"She's proud of you. She's proud of her son who is getting the help he needs and who is making an effort to change and have a better life." Matt answered.

Jeff looked at the pills once more before taking them from Janine's hands and without a second thought, he popped the remaining bottle one by one and dumped them all into the toilet. He looked at his brother and then Janine, who displayed a smile on her face.

He turned back and looked at the pills before flushing the toilet, watching his old life wash away. He felt a new beginning was coming and even if his mom had passed almost 30 years before, she had been the biggest impact on his life.


	12. A Sweat Filled Night

"So..." Matt said, sighing as he took a long drink from his glass.

Jeff looked at his brother, awaiting his next words. It had been an eventful evening not only for him, but for his older brother as well. He was happy to share such an occurrence with his brother and it felt good to move on with so much support behind him.

"Yeah?" Jeff asked, leaning back in the chair, his legging bouncing on the floor.

"What do you have planned for tomorrow?" Matt asked.

"Well, I have a meeting in town and after that, I have to call McMahon, but nothing for the rest of the evening. Why?" Jeff asked, leaning forward, resting his forearms on the table.

"I was just wondering. I know you are gonna have to find something to pass the time away now." Matt said softly.

"Yeah, but I can do it. There's lots of things I need to do. And besides, once I return to the road, that will occupy me beyond belief. I'll be too busy to worry about anything." Jeff said, shrugging his shoulders.

Matt stood then, placing his glass in the sink before making his way back to the table where he stood beside Jeff. Jeff looked at him, wondering what the awkward silence between them was about. Matt smiled gently as he squeezed the younger Hardy's shoulder.

"I'm proud of you, Jeff. You know that, right?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, I do Matt. Without you even having to say it." Jeff replied, shaking his head.

"How?" Matt asked, arching his brow, rather amused.

"I saw the disappointment too many times in your eyes. If the pills taught me one thing, I learned how to be aware of people's reactions and their emotions. I see the look in your eyes now, Matt. I saw the weight lift from your shoulders, just like it did mine." Jeff answered, staring into the glass of the table, his reflection staring back at him.

"Very perceptive, Jeffrey." Matt replied, laughing lightly. "I love you, bro."

Jeff looked at his brother and smiled. It had been a while since the brothers had shared any form of closeness and it felt nice to have his brother back. Even if the pills had clouded the truth, he knew his brother loved him, but after sharing the conversation they had that evening from his career to his next steps personally, he felt for the first time in years, his life was finally back on track.

"I love you, too, Matt." Jeff said, standing and embracing his brother. "Thank you."

"Anytime. You know I'm always here." Matt said, smiling at him.

"I know. I think I might go and talk to dad tomorrow, too. Let him know everything's gonna be alright from now so he don't have to worry anymore." Jeff said.

"I think that's a good idea. God knows that man has worried so much over the past few years." Matt agreed, making his way into the living room. "I'll see you tomorrow, bro. Get some sleep."

"I'll try." Jeff said, walking aimlessly into the living room and looking at the array of pictures displayed on the walls.

He smile to himself of the fond memories and couldn't help but to laugh allowed at a couple of them. Overall, rather good or bad, he had a great life and he couldn't help but realize how he almost threw it away for a 6-hour high. He had been incredibly stupid, but he knew he was changing and things could only look up from here.

He walked slowly up the steps, not really wanting to go to sleep, but knowing his body was in need of it. As he stripped to his boxers, he placed his cell phone on the night stand and slipped beneath the cool sheets. His nerves were on edge that evening, but somehow, he had managed to keep the short-temper at bay, not wanting to ruin the mending he had done that day.

As he closed his eyes, he felt his heart racing, the sweat forming on his forehead and his hands becoming clammy and shaky. He knew it would be a long night; the next few weeks would probably be the same way, but one step at a time, he was going to do. He was going to force himself to.

He wanted his life back and it all started with now.

* * *

He flung the covers from his legs and shot up in the bed. His breathing was labored and he was drenched in sweat. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood on the cold, wooden floor. His knees and legs were unbelievably shaky as he stood, holding onto the wall for support.

He felt the dizziness swarming around him, as the sweat poured from his head. He had never felt like that before and wondered if he was experiencing the worst of withdrawal. Somehow, he knew better and thought to himself that it would probably get much worse before it would get better.

He inched his way along the wall, knocking over the lamp in the process. The porcelain shattered onto the floor, the sound echoing throughout the once quiet house. He winced at the sound of it and stopped, as he leaned against the wall for support before sliding down it, landing on his bottom on the floor.

The room became illuminated as Jeff winced against the brightness, not wanting to look up. The light was blinding enough for him and his head was already pounding from an on-coming headache. He felt the hands touch his shoulder gently as he gave a sideways glance and smiled weakly at Matt.

"Jeff..." Matt said, giving him a once over, as he trailed off. "Are you..."

Jeff tried speaking but realized his throat was increasingly dry. Every time he tried making a sound, he felt nauseous and his stomach almost forcing its contents out. Jeff managed to shake his head as he pointed towards the night stand. Matt followed his brothers finger and looked on, wondering what he needed. Matt looked back at him and slowly shook his head, before stepping back slightly.

"You don't..." he said, trailing off again, looking at the broken lamp on the floor.

Jeff shook his head violently and reached for cell phone. His frail form feel over onto the hard floor and lay there as Matt reach for the phone and handed it to him. Jeff allowed his fingers to fumble through the contacts before he handed it to Matt and tapped the screen.

"Janine." Matt whispered before hitting the 'send' key and waiting for her the answer.

Jeff lay on the cool floor, not wanting to move. His entire body ached and hurt, more than he had ever experienced before. He lived his life in a ring, traveling up and down the road 5 days a week and he yet, he still had never experienced anything as bad as he felt now. Matt looked at the digital clock on the nightstand and sighed as he heard the groggy voice on the other end.

"Janine!" Matt said, a sense of panic evident in his voice.

"Matt?" she questioned, yawning slightly.

"Yeah, listen. It's Jeff. He's laying on the floor, sweating and..and shaking." Matt described, as he placed his free hand on his brothers forehead.

"Um, alright. Try to get him back in bed and get him some water or something. I'll be there in 10 minutes." she responded before hanging up.

Matt slammed the phone shut and threw it on the nightstand before picking his lifeless brother up and setting him gently into the bed. Jeff grabbed onto his shirt as Matt sat on the bed as their eyes locked. Matt saw the fear in his brothers eyes and it scared him to no end. He sighed again, as he explained to Jeff he was getting him some water before leaving the bedroom.

Jeff looked around the room and slowly managed to sit himself up against the headboard. He laid his head back, his thoughts racing and the sickness taking over. He closed his eyes, trying to at least relieve the dizziness some when he heard his brother stumble back into the bedroom.

His eyes flew open as he grabbed the glass, his hand shaking violently before placing it to his lips and gulping at the cool liquid. Matt placed a cool wash rag on his forehead, as Jeff finally slumped further into the bed, feeling the first effects of comfort. Matt turned his head towards the door as the knocking sound came louder and louder from downstairs.

"Jeff, I've gotta go downstairs and get Janine. I promise you, we'll be right back up, alright?" Matt said.

Jeff merely shook his head as he watched his brother leave the room and sighed. He hadn't thought the effects of withdrawal would be as bad as they were and for the first time since he decided on sobriety, he questioned his decision. The pills would at least take the sickness away; it always had before. He didn't know how much he could stand, let alone how many days he would have to face it.

"Jeff..." came a female voice from the door.

He looked at her and managed a weak smile before she knelt down beside the bed and grabbed the cool rag, wiping it around his face. He closed his eyes, as Matt looked on from the door.

"Matt, can you get me a cover and a pillow?" she asked.

Matt gave her a confused look before disappearing into the hallway. She turned her attention back to Jeff and cocked her head to the side, smiling sweetly at him.

"Jeff Hardy, I swear..." she said, pushing a strand of hair from his face.

"Ja...Janine..." he whispered, grabbing her hand.

"What is it Jeff?" she asked, searching his eyes for an answer.

"Do...don't...leave." he replied, his voice clearly scratchy.

"I'm not." she replied, looking at the couch in the bedroom. "I'm going to sleep right there. If you need me, I'll be right there." she replied, pointing to the couch.

He shook his head, easing himself onto the pillow and shutting his eyes, not releasing her hand. Matt returned with the items as he smiled at the two and threw them onto the couch.

"Is he alright?" Matt asked, looking at his brother.

"He will be. This is all completely normal." she replied, looking at Matt before looking back at Jeff. "I'm going to sleep over if that's ok."

"Yeah, that's fine. I'm gonna try and get some sleep." he said. "Please, if he anything happens, come and get me."

"I will." she replied, sitting on the side of the bed, not taking her gaze away from Jeff.

Matt exited the room, turning the light off and shutting the door silently behind him. Jeff opened his eyes, locking his gaze with Janine's. She placed the rag on the nightstand and stroked his forehead gently.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No." Jeff answered, finding his voice. "I'm starting to feel...a little better."

"That's good. You know it's going to be like this for a couple days, right?" she asked easily.

"I...know. I've gotta...do this." he answered, breathlessly.

"I'm glad. You try and get some rest, alright?" she said, standing before she felt him grab her hand and pull on her gently. "What is it Jeff?"

"Please... just lay with me until I go to...sleep." he answered.

She looked around the room before returning her look back to Jeff's. She sighed and smiled sweetly at him once more.

"Alright." she replied, lay down on her back.

"Janine?" Jeff whispered.

"What is it, Jeff?" she asked, looking at him.

"Thank you." he said, kissing her cheek gently before closing his eyes.

"You're welcome, Jeff." she whispered, closing her own eyes.

She rubbed her cheek gently where his lips once were and smiled, feeling the heat rise within her. She had watched him change in such a short amount of time and even if she didn't want to get her hopes up about him changing, she couldn't lie to herself any longer.

She had felt herself falling for him and she didn't know rather it was good or bad, wrong or right – but it felt nice.


	13. Falling

She opened her eyes, the sunlight beaming through the windows and blinding her. She shuttered from the brightness before she yawned. It was then she felt the arm draped around her waist in a protective manner. She turned suddenly in bed, her eyes locking with the same sincere, sweet emerald eyes of Jeff's, relaxing her almost immediately.

She smiled sweetly and felt his forehead for a temperature. He grabbed her hand and placed a small kiss on the inside of her palm. Her cheeks grew red at the gesture, as Jeff released her hand and removed the strand of hair from her face.

"I didn't mean to startle you." he replied, removing his arm from around her waist.

"It's alright. How did you sleep?" she asked.

"Better after that sickening feeling went away." he replied.

There was a moment of silence between them as they stared at one another, smiling nervously at the other.

"Thank you for staying over." Jeff said.

"Jeff, don't mention it. I know you had no idea what was going on." she said.

"I was scared. I'll admit it. I didn't know if it was normal or...."

"It is normal. Something about when your body winds down for the day and when you try to sleep. The pills used to keep your body alert and awake even when you slept so every inch of your body is learning to cope without that."

"I know. I just wish this part of it was over with."

"I know you do, but after a couple days, you'll feel better than you have in a while and you can start to get your life back in order."

"I can't wait for that."

"I know. I know." she whispered softly, before starting to get up.

"So, do you do this for all your patients?" he asked, grabbing her hand forcing her to lie back down.

"What's that?" she asked, giving him a confused look.

"Spend the night with them, share the same bed...."

"Only the special ones." she winked.

"So I'm special?" he asked, arching his brow.

"Don't get too full of yourself now." she said, laughing as she watched Jeff lick his lips.

"I'll try not to." he whispered, before kissing her cheek gently.

"You get some more sleep and I'll see you later." she said, rising from the bed.

He yawned and stretched as he closed his eyes. Sleep was an easy thing for him at the moment, as it overcame him. She looked at him resting peacefully and couldn't help but smile to herself. She felt her heart racing as she rubbed her cheek softly.

She knew she was falling faster and faster for the younger Hardy brother and she knew if she didn't stop it soon, it would be too late.

"Good afternoon, sunshine." Matt said, looking at his brothers disheveled appearance as he descended the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah." Jeff grumbled, as he flopped onto the over-sized chair in the living room, kicking his feet onto the ottoman.

"How are you feeling?" Matt asked, leaning forward.

"Like I got my ass handed to me." Jeff replied.

"I know, bro. It'll get better. You just have to fight until that days comes." Matt said, tapping his knee gently.

"I know, Matt. Last night was..." Jeff said, trailing off.

"Scary as hell." Matt finished for him.

"To say the least." Jeff agreed. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 3. I've gotta get...." Matt started.

"In the afternoon?" Jeff asked, sitting up.

"Yeah. Don't worry. Janine left about an hour ago. She told me to tell you it's alright if you miss the meeting today. She said she would be back later on tonight to check on you since I've gotta catch that flight tonight." Matt said.

"What time?" Jeff asked, leaning back in the chair.

"I've gotta be at the airport no later than 7 this evening. I should be home sometime on Saturday afternoon. Will you be alright here...."

"Matt, I'm 31 years old. I don't need a babysitter." Jeff growled.

"I know, man. I just worry about you. Anyway, Janine said she would look after you while I'm gone and dad plans on stopping by, too." Matt said, grabbing his keys.

"Where are you going?" Jeff asked, standing and entering the kitchen.

"I've gotta go pay some bills. I'll be back..." Matt began.

"Let me pay them, Matt. I mean, I'm staying here and you're not asking me to do a whole lot. Besides, it'll give me something to do while you're gone." Jeff pleaded.

"Jeff, I can't ask you to...."

"You're not asking me to. I'm telling you it's the least I can do and I'm going to pay the bills later." Jeff forced.

"Jeff, man..."

"Matt, I won't take no for an answer. Just give me the bills that need paid and I'll pay them later." Jeff said, extending his hand.

"Are you sure?" Matt asked, as he handed him the envelops.

"Yes, I am. It's a way of me helping out." Jeff reassured.

"Thanks, bro." Matt said, slapping his shoulder, as he threw his keys on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" Jeff winced.

"I'm sorry, dude." Matt said, as Jeff slowly turned around.

"I offer to pay your bills and you beat the shit out of me. A simple 'thank you' woulda been fine, bro." Jeff said, smiling.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. I just didn't think. Do you need an aspirin or...." Matt said, trailing off.

Jeff looked at his brother and dropped his head. Matt closed his eyes and sighed as he shook his head, not realizing what he was about to say. He knew things were going to change for Jeff and everyone else around him and he knew he needed to think before he spoke about some things.

"Jeff, I'm...."

"It's alright, Matt. It's going to be a change for everyone." Jeff replied. "Besides, Janine left me two on the night stand before she left. She told me it would be alright if I took them but she would monitor what I took for the next couple weeks."

"Speaking of Janine. You two looked awfully comfortable this morning." Matt winked at his brother.

"Dude, don't...."

"I'm just saying." Matt said, holding his hands up in surrender.

"She's a sweet girl, Matt. She isn't nothing like Beth and for the first time I can remember, I have support from someone else besides you and dad. She would make it easy for someone to fall in love with her." Jeff said, grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard.

"Did you just say...." Matt asked, watching his brothers movements.

"Did I say what?" Jeff asked, turning to face him.

"That you loved her?" Matt asked.

"No. I said she makes it easy for someone to fall in love with her." Jeff replied.

"So, are you falling for her?" Matt asked, as Jeff poured himself some coffee from the pot before taking a seat at the dining room table.

Jeff thought for a minute as he sipped gingerly from his cup. He sat it on the table and leaned back, Matt watching his moves the entire time. Jeff smiled to himself before looking back at his brother.

"I think I might be, Matt. Just maybe." Jeff replied, trailing off, deep in thought.


	14. The Thunder Rolls

"Jeff?" she called from the kitchen, as she took her jacket off and placed it on the hook by the door. "Jeff?"

"I'm upstairs. I'll be down in a minute." he yelled from the bedroom.

She looked around the house, examining the pictures on the wall and smiling at the two brothers as kids. She could see the closeness they shared, even as kids.

She found a family portrait with the two along with their father and a woman. She retrieved it from the wall and studied it as Jeff came by her side.

"That my mother." Jeff whispered.

"What happened to her?" Janine asked, placing the picture back before looking at Jeff.

"She died when I was little. She had cancer." Jeff replied, looking past her for a moment.

"I'm sorry." she said, squeezing his shoulder.

"It was a long time ago and I barely remember her. Matt remembers more of her, but I was little." Jeff said, shaking his head and shrugging.

"So, how are you feeling?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I took the two aspirin and it seemed to help some. I've been kind of moody today, but I know that comes with the territory, right?"

"Yeah, that's all part of it. So, did your brother leave?"

"Yeah, about 5 minutes ago. He said you'd be checking up on me for the next couple days while he's gone?"

"Yeah, if that's alright? I just didn't want you to be alone if you went through another episode like last night."

"I'd really appreciate that." he said, stepping towards her slowly.

She drew a breath in, feeling it get lost in her throat. She stared at Jeff as he inched closer and closer towards her before cupping her face in his hands. He cocked his head to the side and smiled at her. She felt her knees going weak and the world stopped moving in that moment.

She felt him lean in, his warm breath hitting her neck, sending chills up and down her spine. She closed her eyes before his lips touched hers gently. She let herself go, finding her arms snake around his neck as his hands grabbed her hips gently, pulling her flush against him.

He bit her bottom lip gently before she stopped and pulled away from him. He looked at her, confused as she stepped backwards.

"You...we can't..." she stammered on her words.

"Why not, Janine?" he asked.

"Because, Jeff, this isn't right! I'm you're councilor!" she exclaimed.

"I know this. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today. Who knows where I would be or if I'd even be alive!" Jeff responded.

"Jeff, I have a job to do and I owe...."

"I know, you do, but what about what you owe to yourself?" he asked, making her stop to think for a moment.

"It doesn't matter...." she said turning.

"It does matter." he said, grabbing her waist and turning her around, their eyes locking again.

"Jeff, we can't." she said again, pulling away.

"I don't give a shit if it's right or wrong. Am I suppose to just turn the switch off and not care for you anymore?" he asked.

"Jeff, I just don't know what to do about this. I mean, that... what just happened, it was a mistake."

"Neither do I, but I know running away from it isn't solving anything. We've been giving each other hints and smiling and... and touching. Janine, don't sit there and tell me for one second it was a mistake. You know that's a lie." he responded.

"Jeff, it was a mistake. We can't do this, no matter how much you want it."

"It's not just me." he battled back.

"Who said I...."

"Tell me you don't want it. Tell me you didn't want me to kiss you... that you haven't wanted me to kiss you for a long time." Jeff said, stepping closer to her. "If that's the case, you wouldn't have fallen asleep beside me last night. You would have gone over to the couch."

"How do you know what I want?" she snapped back.

"Janine, I'm just going by what you teach in class. Don't run from your problems, face them. Rule number one in sobriety, right? You also told us that we can apply that to our lives and in every decision." he said softly.

"Yeah, I did say that but..."

"Then stop running." he said, grabbing her hand.

"I'm not...." she said, stammering on her words again.

"You're not?" he said, grabbing her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Rule two: don't lie. Accept the changes and adjust your life accordingly." he said smiling.

"Don't try and use my words against me, Hardy." she snapped.

"I'm not. I'm just trying to get you to admit the truth." he said, smirking at her.

"It's not...."

"If it's not, why didn't you push me away sooner? Why didn't you slap the shit out of me? Why did you sleep in the same bed as me?" he said, raising his voice slightly, as he released her hand and began pacing.

She looked at him, stunned at his voice. They had gotten along ever since he had admitted to her he wanted to become clean and the minute she had the opportunity to come clean, she couldn't.

"No answer." he retorted. "That's just great Janine because I have been up front, open and honest with you from the start. Even when I was on the shit, I was honest about it and now, everything you have said in the meetings and to me, it's all a lie, right?"

"No..."

"Then why can't you just admit to me that there's something there. There's something here?" he asked, his voice softening.

She glared at him a minute before turning her back on him, lost in thought. Jeff sighed and threw his hands in the air as he walked towards the patio door. She turned back around and watched him walk out. The thunder clapped loudly as he slammed the door behind him. She sighed and opened the door as he stood in the rain, his back towards her.

"Jeff!" she yelled as he turned. She ran down the steps and stopped inches from him.

"What?" he demanded.

"I'm...I'm falling for you!" she blurted out before claiming his lips.

The two continued to kiss as the rain poured, soaking their bodies with water. He clung onto her, as he deepened the kiss and heard her moan against his lips. As they parted, her rested his forehead against hers and smiled. He stroked her wet hair from her face as he kissed her lightly once more.

"That's all I wanted to hear." he said, closing his eyes.


	15. And The Lightning Strikes

He picked her up, the water clinging to her white tank top. He couldn't contain himself any longer. His range of emotions had been up and down the past couple days and for once, the feelings he felt he didn't want to stop. He wasn't angry, he wasn't upset or disappointed.

He felt gratitude, compassion and desire. He needed to be with her, hell or high water.

As he entered the kitchen, he set her gently back on the ground before ravishing her neck with small kisses, causing her to moan against his ear. He shivered at the sound of her voice only making him attack her neck more before finally reaching her lips and ripping at her shirt.

He slid it off in one swift motion before picking her up again and carrying her to the couch. Their eyes locked as he laid her down gently and hovered over her, looking at the water clinging to her hair, her neck and her chest.

He grabbed the elastic on her shorts and slipped them off along with her panties, before covering her body and claiming her lips once more. She arched her back against his body as her fingers tangled in his multi-colored locks, deepening the kiss.

He unclasped her bra and threw it the ground before he kicked his flip flops off and stood up, his eyes never leaving her naked body. He eased his pants off and slipped his shirt over his head as she sat up and smiled at him.

He leaned down and kissed her gently before grabbing her legs and pulling her to the end of the couch. She looked at him eagerly, her eyes screaming for more. He slowly entered her as she moaned and arched her back once more, allowing him to enter her deeper, only causing her to nearly scream from the amount of pleasure.

He watched her reactions as he began thrusting his hips. He licked his lips as he held onto her hips, moving quicker and quicker with each passing second.

"Jeff...." she said, breathlessly, her fingers running through her own hair as she closed her eyes.

"Shhh..." he soothed, pumping faster and faster.

"Jeff..." she said once more, almost screaming.

His head fell backwards as the sensation took over, giving him more pleasure than he had ever felt before. He felt her move slightly, before he was being pushed onto the floor. He looked up at her as she smiled evilly down at him before straddling him.

He grabbed her hips as he entered her again, this time, Jeff moaned as she rocked her hips, giving him even more pleasure. He felt the sensation build once more and knew there was no holding back this time.

He heard her scream his name, as their bodies feel into rhythm with each passing thrust. His fingers dug into her skin as she gasped, their bodies both shivering together, as their orgasms hit together. She rocked a couple more times before her body felt limp and she rested her head against his sweat-ridden chest.

He wrapped his arms around her, waiting for his breath to even once more. He smiled to himself, as he lay a small kiss on her forehead. She looked up at him and smiled.

"That was not what I thought was going to happen tonight." she admitted, a smile plastered on her face.

"You enjoyed it though, right." he asked.

"Yeah. I'm not saying that. Just... pleasantly surprised." she replied.

"I'm not." he replied, matter-of-factly.

"Whys that?" she asked, taken back by his reply.

"I knew it would only be a matter of time. Or at least, I was hoping. I couldn't resist you anymore. Besides fighting this addiction, I was fighting my feelings for you. I knew I could at least win one of 'em." he answered.

"Jeff, you're going to win them both." she replied, seriously.

"Oh, I am?" he said, laughing lightly.

"It looks like you already nailed the girl." she said.

Jeff laughed as she rolled her eyes, realizing what she had said and how it was being taken by the Charismatic Enigma. She slapped his chest playfully, before dismounting him and standing.

"Where are you going?" he asked, rolling over onto his stomach.

"I'm going to enjoy a shower." she replied, walking up the stairs.

He watched her take the stairs slowly, smiling to himself as she did so. She stopped before disappearing at the top and leaned over the banister.

"You going to join me?" she asked, before running the rest of the way to the bathroom.

He slapped the floor with his palms before standing up and rushing after her.


	16. I Just Wanna Sleep

A week had passed and Jeff was still fighting the withdrawal symptoms, now all throughout the day and night. It had gotten worse, it seemed, and the silver lining was so far out of reach. He had thought about the drugs nearly every second and no matter how hard he fought it, the urge never went away.

He had shared his feelings with anyone; he couldn't. Everyone had mentioned how proud of him they were and never asking how he was feeling or what was going through his mind. The temptation was almost as bad as the feeling of disappointment he know he would see on everyone's face if he were to slip up.

He hadn't gotten a decent nights rest for the past two nights and thats when his mind raced even more. He knew he could get away with taking them, especially since everyone was in bed fast asleep. He didn't even suspect they would think he would relapse.

He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to focus on the paper he had laid in front of him. He couldn't seem construct anything like he was taught to; the desire was too much. He tossed the notebook and the pen onto the floor and sighed, before standing up and entering the bathroom.

He had wanted a peaceful nights sleep; it was the one true thing he wanted. Knowing that was out of the question, he decided to rearrange the bathroom. It gave him something to do and his busy mind would be focused on something else for at least a little while.

As he folded and refolded the towels, his hand ran across something hard. He stopped for a moment, not believing what he had found. He closed his eyes as he retrieved the tiny object and opened his eyes. The familiar plastic brown bottle seemed the glow as his hands began to shake. He looked around the bathroom, knowing he was alone, but the feeling of someone watching was overwhelming as if he were a kid again finding his Christmas presents that his parents had hidden.

He played with the white lid, the memories of the past few years washing over him, hitting him like a lightning bolt in the dark, rain-driven sky. He hadn't realized how overpowering it would feel to have drugs that close within reach to him once more. It was a thought he honestly had thought of.

His only ideas were of taking them when they were there. He hadn't realized he would actually contemplate if they were within reach; let alone his own hands. He had never really tried sobriety and the thought of living on his own, not depending on a drug to get him by, as almost a high in itself. He liked the feeling to admit to himself and others he was sober.

He knew if he were to relapse, it would become easier and easier for him to become hooked on the pills again. And it would be harder and harder for him to become sober once more. The silver lining would pass him by and he would never look back.

He popped the top and almost smiled as he looked at the small, blue pills within. He had forgotten he had hid the stash among the towels when he moved into Matt's house, let alone his good stash he had scored right before his suspension. He was almost pleased with himself that he had given them up.

He emptied the contents into his hand and thought long and hard about taking them; one part of him screamed for him to down them without a second thought. Another part, clearly his better half, yelled and painfully rebutted, telling him to forget them and flush them, like he had before.

Jeff sat on the edge of bath tub wondering what his next move was going to be. He had wanted the torment to end, to get a good nights rest and wake in the morning with his achy limbs and pounding head to be gone. It would give almost anything for that feeling once more.

Was it enough to risk his sobriety? His life?

She tossed and turned in bed, almost knowing he was there when she rolled over. Her eyes flickered open as she allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkened room. She yawned before throwing the covers from her body and standing from the bed. She saw the small crack of light coming from the bathroom door and walked towards it.

She heard the footsteps from within and the shadow pacing back and forth. She sighed, knowing it was Jeff, evidently not being able to sleep once more. She pushed the door open slowly, as his form came into view.

She saw his hand raised towards his mouth before she noticed the small, blue objects in his palm. She almost felt dizzy seeing him slipping up, as if all the meetings, their talks, his family and their relationship meant nothing to him.

She entered the room and grabbed his hand, causing him to jump, the pills scattering across the tiled floor. The anger was rising within her as she saw the lost look, the tears lining his eyes, his mouth open, trying to speak but the words getting lost somewhere within.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

Jeff just shook his head, not able to say anything. She wasn't sure if he was more shocked at his own actions or being caught, be she needed him to say something, to explain his feelings.

"Jeff, answer me. What's going on?" she asked, grabbing the pill bottle from his other hand.

"Janine..I just wanted to sleep. I just want to sleep." he pleaded, the tears spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks.

"Jeff, why didn't you wake me? Why are you so persistent in doing this by yourself?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"What's going on?" Matt asked entering the room, his eyes scanning his brothers delicate state before noticing the pills lying on the bathroom floor. "Jeff?"

"Matt... it's.... I..." he stumbled, as Matt looked at Janine for answers.

"He didn't take them. I think I stopped him in time." she answered, staring back at Jeff.

"So, you've been doing them the entire time?" Matt asked, the anger coming through.

"No." Jeff managed to reply. "Actually.... this is the first time since....."

"Jeff, what's going on. Talk to us, please." Janine pleaded, grabbing his shaky hands.

"I just want to sleep, I want this pain to go away..." he said, the tears falling faster and faster as his entire body started to shake.

She wrapped him into his arms, allowing him to cry on her shoulder as his words became muffled. She tried soothing him, as she stroked his hair. Matt squeezed his shoulder and realized for the first time, he had no idea what his younger brother was battling, what his feelings were, what temptations he was fighting. He had no clue how hard his brother had it.

"Jeff, I'm so sorry." Matt said, the tears threatening to fall from his own eyes.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed and well talk about ways to help you fall asleep." she said, holding his arm and helping him back to the bed.

As Jeff sat on the edge of the bed, he hung his head, still letting the tears fall from the amount of pain he had endured through withdrawal. He was going to take the pills, but for the first time, it wasn't for the high he knew he would feel. It wasn't for the feeling it would give him. It was to help him sleep.

For the first time, Jeff actually needed a pill for a legitimate reason.

"I'm so sorry..." Jeff muttered, his shoulders shaking as he exhaled.

"Jeff, it's alright. No one said this was going to be easy. You're almost past the second step. It won't be too much longer before the aches and pains go away and you can sleep. Until then, I have something you can take, within reason and as long as it is monitored by your brother or me." Janine replied, looking at Matt who shook his head.

"I don't want to be hooked on the pills. I mean, the temptation is there. It always will be but I want to be sober. I just want to sleep." he said, wiping his eyes.

"I know, baby. I know." she said, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before grabbing a bottle of Tylenol PM from her purse.

"As long as these are taken in moderation and at the right time, they should help you." she said, giving him two pills from the bottle.

He stared at the them for a moment before raising his head and looking at his brother. Instead of the disappointment he thought he would see, he saw compassion, hurt and a want to understand. He smiled weakly at him before looking at Janine.

"I'm sorry." Jeff repeated.

"Jeff it's alright. I see the change in you and I'm pretty sure your brother does too. We know how bad you want this and we both know that it's going to happen." she said, rubbing his back.

"Jeff, you're one of the toughest SOB's I know. I had no idea what you were going through until tonight. I had no idea it was so tough for you." Matt said.

"I know. I just didn't want to let anyone down anymore. Everyone has been so proud of me, I just didn't want to seem like...." he said trailing off, not being able to find the right words.

"Like you were human?" Janine finished for him. "Jeff, we need to know how you feel. It's part of the recovery process. If you keep that inside, it's going to eat at you and your going to turn back to the bottle again instead of turning to someone. Please, talk to someone. I don't care who it is. Someone"

He shook his head as he took the pills and took a large gulp from the water bottle before kicking his feet under the covers and laying down.

"I'm going to go clean up the bathroom. I love you, bro." Matt said, before leaving.

"I love you, too, Matt." Jeff responded.

"Are you alright?" Janine asked.

"Yeah, I think I will be now." he answered, yawning.

"Jeff it's alright. You're not letting anyone down. We're still proud of you." she said, kissing his forehead. "We're all here for you."

"I know. Can you just...."

"What? Anything?" she said, looking at him intently.

"Hold me?" he asked, looking up into her eyes.

"Sure." she said, smiling sweetly before climbing into bed and wrapping her arms loosely around his waist. "Get some sleep."

"Janine?" Jeff said.

"What, sweetie." she answered, running her fingers through his hair.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, sitting up and resting her chin on his arm.

"For helping me change, for giving me the strength to knowledge to recover, for being here, for... everything." he said, yawning again.

"Your welcome. I wouldn't have it any other way, Jeff."


	17. Some Things Never Change

* 6 Weeks Later *

He stretched his sore body and opened his eyes slowly, allowing the sunlight to brighten his morning. He rolled onto his side and smiled, seeing her sleeping form bundled beneath the warm covers. He kissed the top of her forehead before kicking the covers off and and reaching for his clothes.

He had a list of things to do that day before he could even think about returning on the road. His house was underway being rebuilt; a project his dad had decided to take over after he returned with the WWE. He needed to attended his last meeting and call his employer to let him know about his progress and Jeff knew, in the end, he would beg for mercy and hope Vince would give him another chance to prove he could be a top tier performer for his company.

"Jeff..." she said sleepily.

"Shhh... It's only 7 in the morning. Go back to bed." he ushered, kissing her check before disappearing from the room.

He took the steps two at a time, not believing how well he felt that morning. It had been a while since he had felt that good, even when he was on the pills. He didn't want to ruin everything he had going for him by turning back to drugs, especially since Janine was in his life.

Things had be going nicely for them since they had begun dating only 3 weeks before. She had been there for him in his darkest hour, and for that, he could never find the right way to repay her. He felt truly indebted to her for a lifetime and he hoped he had that long to prove to her how much he meant it.

As he walked into the kitchen, he saw his brother sitting at the table doing his usual morning routine. A smile crept onto his face, as he slipped into an empty chair and rolled his eyes at the older Hardy.

"What?" Matt asked, dropping his spoon into his bowl and looking at his brother.

"Nothing, man. It's nice to know that some things just never change." Jeff replied, pointing at his bowl of cereal.

"I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What's wrong with that?" he asked.

"Matt, you're 34. Don't you think it's time to try some grown-up food? Eggs, toast, sausage, bacon, something besides cereal, man." Jeff said, laughing lightly.

"Sure. You gonna make it?" Matt joked back.

"Funny, Matthew." Jeff said, grabbing the morning paper.

"You know, I'm really proud of you, Jeff." Matt said, out of the blue.

"I know, Matt. You've told me that just about every day since my recovery." Jeff responded, the paper still covering his eyes.

Matt jerked the paper from his brother and looked at him, a serious look lying within his eyes. Jeff changed his position before looking back.

"No, I mean, Jeff, I really thought it would be longer before you changed. Honestly, I thought you would lose your job and either return to TNA or start your Motocross shit again. I was so worried about you for so many years and I just have to pinch myself everyday to make sure this is really happening." Matt replied.

"Thanks, I think." Jeff said, thinking.

"No, don't take it the wrong way. You're doing great. It's a miracle, really. I mean, I knew you had to will power and everything. I've always believed in you. I guess I just didn't believe in you enough." Matt admitted.

"I'm not even mad at that. I mean, I was gone. Everyone knows that now. If it weren't for you, dad and Janine, I don't think I would have stopped when I did. I wanted it for myself. Withdrawal was hell and I never wanna do it again."

Jeff stood to grab a cup of coffee as Matt returned to his cereal. Jeff thought about his brothers words as he returned to the table and sat down. Matt waited until Jeff placed the coffee back on the table before he spoke again.

"She's really something special, isn't she?" Matt said, looking upwards.

"Yeah, she is." Jeff said, sighing, a smile coming to his face.

"I know you and Beth shared so many years together, but I'm kind of glad it happened. You know, the break-up; if it didn't, she wouldn't be with you now." Matt said, returning the smile.

"Yeah, she would." Jeff said, shaking his head. "This.....me and Janine; it was meant to be." he replied simply before turning back to the newspaper.


End file.
